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Spiritual Experiences: Artist Grandfather
James V. Hardt, Ph.D.
The Artist Grandfather
This alpha feedback trainee was a creative artist and a
grandfather, whose Christianity had a driven quality, who was overburdened by
guilt, and who worked excessively, spending little or no time with his family
or grandchildren.
Day 1. During his alpha feedback he experienced a biblical
story of an outcast [money changer/tax collector], with whom he identified
[feeling himself an outcast].
As his alpha increased, he became aware of a scene in which
Jesus came walking along through a crowd of people all happily dancing and
being joyful. He singled out AG and held his hand. AG was feeling unworthy of
this attention. Then Jesus put his hand to AG's forehead. Jesus used his
other hand to hold AG's hand and press it to his [Jesus'] heart, and AG felt
deeply healed.
Then Jesus and AG walked hand-in-hand through the dancing
throng. Some people were there who were not dancing. They were in gray
sackcloth, seated on the ground with their heads down, and arms around their
legs. Jesus took AG's hand and used it to touch each one of these people.
As he touched them, he experienced powerful forgiveness energy flowing and each
person arose, was filled with joy, and began dancing with the others.
AG experienced his lesson as forgiveness guided by Jesus.
It was also acceptance of and healing for AG by Jesus.
Five epochs before the end of the alpha enhancement, AG had
had enough and wanted out of the feedback chamber. He was standing up when the
Trainer went in, but in talking, he recognized his family's legendary temper
and the family members' characteristic demanding ego, and he resolved to
overcome both of these in his week of training.
Day 2. As AG's alpha increased, he saw Jesus in the
distance under a rainbow. Jesus started walking toward AG getting bigger and
bigger. Then Jesus took the ends of the rainbow in his hands and bent it into
a circle and said, "This is a symbol of my love for you." This evoked
very powerful emotions in AG, since he'd never seen anything like this in his
entire life. Later that day, AG and I had a meeting, set up by prior
arrangement, where we reviewed the Biocybernaut Institute's Zen graphs from a
study done with Zen meditators. There we saw the records of a Zen Roshi with
the bi-modal coherence pattern that may well be the basis of the spiritual
phenomena known as Halos. And AG said that he thought that the rainbow Jesus
bent into a circle for him was a foreshadowing [or "fore-luminining"] of the
knowledge of the brainwave pattern underlying Halos.
Also during that session, during one period of high alpha
activity, AG saw a large shallow brass bowl filled with water, with mountains
around the edge of the bowl reminding him of Crater Lake. He described the
events as follows: "Then Jesus was suddenly in the scene carrying the
bowl, and the top of my head was open, actually the top of my head was missing,
and the water in the bowl was suddenly anointing oil. I prayed on my knees and
asked the Lord to 'fill me with his presence and spirit.' Compared with the
very personal Jesus of yesterday, today's Jesus was bigger than life. Jesus
was pouring the anointing oil into my head. The oil turned into fire on the
inside and was burning up all the impurities. The anointing oil was cleansing,
burning up the old dirty wax of past fears, guilts, and doubts. ... It was
profoundly cleansing. My usual feelings of gloomy, awful, reckless, and angry
were replaced by feelings like: devoted, enthusiastic, timid, powerful,
agreeable, contented."
Day 3. AG told this story: "As soon as my alpha
started to increase I found myself talking with my deceased son and my deceased
Mom and Dad, always in the presence of the Lord, having His approval. Then I
had an experience, which reassured me that my Dad was with the Lord, something
about which I had worried a lot. My Dad had been very harsh with me, and had
left my Mother and taken up with another woman. He had two women to support
and he lost his house and business and went bankrupt, so he came to live with
me and my wife. All his family had turned their backs on him, and now they
shunned me and my wife for taking this man in. My Father was ill and was in
bed most of the time and was very demanding. One day he called me into his
bedroom and said, 'You know I'd said if I ever saw a Christian, I'd become
one?' Then he gave up his rantings about the hypocrisy of Christians because
of the love and Christian charity my wife and I had shown him. He died two
months later, but I always doubted his conversion to Christianity. Then in
alpha, I had an experience that reassured me. I saw a huge bronze ring with
hundreds of people in it, including my Mom and Grandmother. But Dad was
outside the ring. Then Jesus appeared and lifted up the ring and brought Dad
inside the circle. This was gratifying and heartwarming."
"Then I had an experience, which was just the most
glorious experience. My scores had been rising steadily and suddenly when the
tones stopped after one epoch and the scores lit up, my highest score of the 6
scores was 666. As I looked at the three 'sixes', the circles in the 6's
opened up into holes into the vacuum. It was like the movie the
Philadelphia Experiment. The vacuum suction was pulling me in, and I
was initially terrified as houses and cars and trees were being pulled into the
awful suction. People were screaming. There was a lot of noise and chaos.
Then I thought, 'In Him I will overcome.' and I called the name of Jesus,
thinking, 'Whosoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.' And
suddenly Jesus was there with his arms wrapped around me, and I had total peace
even as the force was pulling in houses and rocks and trees and trucks and
busses. The fear was instantly gone. Each hole had the power to destroy
everything, and to suck things into it and off into oblivion. It was literally
a hopeless situation for anything caught in that suction, and the more I saw
how destructive it was, the tighter Jesus held me in his arms. And the more
peace I felt in Jesus' arms, the worse the scene got. Then I thought of the
Song of Solomon 2:6 and remembered, 'His left hand is under my head, and his
right hand doth embrace me.' And I thought, 'I know that I will overcome.'
And I thought, 'He is all power, and I am literally saved from the strongest
power on earth by Jesus.' During this intense experience my scores rose ever
higher and for the first time ever, I broke through 1,000. I saw that I got to
witness the awesome power of destruction and utter annihilation while safe in
the arms of the Lord. This experience was just the most glorious
experience."
"At the peak of my scores, I realized that Jesus has
all the power. Then I rested and my scores dropped back lower. But there was
an encore, a second peak in my scores. It was in realizing that I had power
over alcohol. If the name of Jesus was that powerful over 666, then that power
could help me control my use of alcohol."
"I felt utter ecstasy that the Lord will help me when
I call on his name."
Day 4. AG spoke freely about his experiences: "In
the beginning there were Green scores, indicating I was setting new highs for
the day. I wanted an intense experience like yesterday, but sensed that it was
not yet time. I felt an incredible closeness of the spiritual world. I felt
very warm and had a sense that He was there too. The more I thought about the
Lord and sang songs of praise [silently in my heart] the better I would do ...
having higher scores and louder musical tones. But the intensity of
yesterday's experience evaded me. It just would not come. I felt demanding
and thought that I really want to leave because I want to leave. I was being
totally uncooperative. Then this amazing thing happened."
"I don't know how I could see this because I know
the room was completely dark, but all of a sudden it was no longer dark. A fat
black lady walked into my room and sat down. For some reason I asked her if
she was an angel. She laughed and said, 'Yes. Why? Do you need one?' I told
her that I always feel like the musical feedback tones are like angels lifting
me up. She said, 'I'm Molly. How can I help you?'"
"I told her, 'I'm not having a very good day here
because I was expecting something spectacular, and nothing spectacular is
happening.'"
"She said, 'Well I'm here and I'm an angel, and I came
to tell you a bedtime story about a little boy who has a name very similar to
yours.' Then she proceeded to tell me a story which was so magical and
heartwarming that I know it will be a best seller as a children's book. In
fact I knew immediately that this book would generate a million dollars of
income. I knew I had been given a great gift. Suddenly it did not matter
about my expectation for spectacular experiences."
"One more thing exciting happened. I saw a painting.
It was very wonderful. I could see the light contrasting with a color of a
medium value. Suddenly I knew that it used Titanium Oxide white, little
slivers of layers looking so shimmering. I've seen that effect in Monet and
never knew how to achieve it. Now I have been shown how it is done."
Day 5. AG described his day: "As my alpha increased,
I began having conversations with people; conversations just in my mind. This
was a real revelation. I was thinking about my feelings of unworthiness. I'd
tried to help an in-law. They never communicated with me. I have tried
everything, helping put the kids through school, getting them a car, which they
won't drive, wanting to do anything to help out. All of a sudden, as I was
reviewing all this disappointment, there was a big alpha burst and I realized
in that moment that my worthiness has nothing to do with the expectations of
others. My worthiness is not lessened by the lack of appreciation of others.
The causes of my completeness are inside me, not in the hands of others. I let
go of this. I forgave them for everything, and I forgave myself. My
worthiness or unworthiness has nothing to do with the actions or inactions of
others."
"When I started this training I was all logic and
thought and I was trying to avoid feelings because they were often bad
feelings. I've always been careful in spending money on myself and I'm still
facing this issue. But I've decided that you should give it your best. I'm
not going to waste good money on bad attitudes. So I have a right to get as
much out of this training as I can, including getting rid of my bad
attitudes."
"The next thing I knew I was walking through this
gauzy curtain, like a wind. I was walking on a cement floor all gray and cold.
Then suddenly I was surrounded by people from all sides, very sarcastic and
cynical people, very arrogant and self-righteously pious people. Then I
realized I was naked. The people gave me looks. They raised their eyebrows.
They pointed fingers. I covered myself with my hands, but their judgement was
so strong that this did not appease them, so I sat down on the cold cement to
hide more of myself. The people just stood there and stared at me. I was
suddenly watching this scene from another perspective, like from an elevated
balcony over a courtyard. I asked for help, for deliverance, and suddenly
Jesus just appeared. He was wearing only a breechcloth, very simple as if to
show the arrogant people he did not need a lot of clothes. He had a garment in
his hand and he put it over me. I felt tremendous peace, and then power. When
Jesus put the garment over me, I flashed back into myself from the out-of-body
perspective up on the balcony. I was back in myself again and I felt peace.
Then the words came to me, 'Wisdom. Ask God for wisdom.' And so I did. Then
I was flooded with power and peace and wisdom and more power. Then all the
critical people disappeared. Then Jesus disappeared and suddenly I realized
that every attachment in my life is related to fear. Then I saw myself walking
among the people I love. I was displaying and feeling the power of the love
that I have for people. I felt worthy. I felt complete."
Day 6. In AG's words: "When I got into alpha I
started feeling that the relationship we have with God is one of giving. Grace
is unconditional love. If you really want to see it for what it is, you must
have unconditional love. I started thinking of the potential of a shared
fellowship of the mind, connecting my brain waves with other people who have
had these insights. A communion of the spirit. The closer a man is to God,
the more giving he is. When you look at an apple tree the greatness is in its
fruit. I wondered, 'What is Grace?' I tried to see it from a visual
standpoint and suddenly I saw how I have driven friends away, and how I have
walked away from friends by not understanding, by not seeing."
"I became inspired by the reality of knowing that we
can truly change our minds. We can have power over even our thinking
processes. I have the power to bring my scores up. How can I do that? I
realize what has been blocking me has been my fears, especially my fear of
being alone. So I started by looking that fear Devil in the eye and knowing as
I walked away through the door into the light ... such an incredible light,
that God's promise is real: I will never leave you or forsake you."
"Then I saw a happy scene with my Trainer when I was
showing him a funny picture I had made, and the last 5-6 epochs of the day were
so happy. I was getting the giggles. It was just fun. I don't think my
son would believe how happy I am now and how much fun I have been having in
this tiny little room. He thought I'd never be able to sit still long enough
to do this training, and now I've done it, and I feel so free and so happy. I
can see that whatever is good is God. If we think in those terms we are giving
back goodness to the world. Each night after training is more significant in
itself. I'm thinking and understanding more about God and goodness."
This creative artist had spiritual experiences, which put
his guilt into a more healthy perspective and gave him direct and personal
experiences of God's love for him. He also did profound forgiveness of
himself and others. Following this, his creativity exploded. One measure of
his expanded creativity was given by his assistant who counted 80 significant
pieces of art produced over more than 10 years of work for his major client.
In the two and a half months following his Biocybernaut training he produced
110 significant pieces of art for the same client. In addition to this
phenomenal creative output, the man was also finding more time to spend with
his grandchildren, taking them to dinner and telling them stories whenever he
was in town.
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